I've always wanted to enjoy a Koi fish pond, but up here in the far north everytime I try to enjoy one--old hoary father winter freezes me out! If I were able to visit and enjoy a pond I would name the platinum fish Paris, she wouldn't eat much, but she would be the main breeder.
The crazy fish that eats all the garbage would be called "Lindsay". I would have another brood fish called "Brittany" and she wouldn't take care of her young.
But, alas I can't enjoy koi ponds anymore. Maybe I'll learn the alphabet instead.