Thursday, September 6, 2007

Jack and the Beanstalk

Do you ever feel like you're a tiny, little entity trying to clamour up a huge beanstalk (I have penis envy)? I feel like I've been climbing so long and too far while debris cascades past my desperate eyes and the jolly giants just laugh merrily at my plight. I'm not necessarily striving to surpass the "glass ceiling", but more the bizarre American caste system of inherited wealth,social networking, and fuck buddies.

Do you want to see something REALLY HILARIOUS? Really fucking funny shit (I guess if they would've put a hot chick in a dress suit as the "businessman" the viewer would think she was the admin assistant?):

I need some serious distraction before I start listening to Avril Laveen (I AM the motherfucking princess!) and hit the tattoo parlor for that fetching "cum catcher" I've always wanted or grab a giant bucket o' popcorn and a Big Gulp and make myself comfortable!

Big girls don't cry eh Fergie?


Jimbo said...

So exactly how far up the corporate ladder do I have to go being a while male in corporate American to get one of these "fuck buddies"?

p0nk said...

higher up than i am, of course i'm married so that might mean i have to go higher up than the average man-whore.

Jimbo said...


I thought being married helps to get you the "pity fuck buddy"?

I keep being told women love men with a ring on their finger. I have not personal seen that happen. I have also been told the grocery store is a great place to pick up on women.

Maybe it just me.

Eagle Eye said...

Jimbo, I wouldn't imagine you have to go as far as little ol' me what with you already participating in the corporate machine. Apparantly, I'm not "corporate" enough until I go public!

Eagle Eye said...

Men generally shy away from a lady's ring--a paradox?But I'm not always a lady! I've also heard the grocery store is a good pick up place. According to Oprah, you should put your best cleavage and face on before you leave the house!

p0nk said...

you mean i can't use 'being married' as an excuse for my inability to get punani? guess it's just because i'm ugly as sin.

Jimbo said...

Thanks for telling me. I did not know that all I had to do is bat my big blue eyes and say would you like to go out to lunch with little ol me? Then I could have an FB?

I would not say we shy away from women with rings, I think you need to read their body language. There is a lot of reading between the lines with the female types

Eagle Eye said...

No,pOnk, I think its because you are the true-blue type!I have to admit I'm attracted to the guys I can trust, not the bad boys!:-)
Jimbo-you have skills that the corporate type lust after so they'll always be sniffin' 'round your door. There is power in technology!It has been my experience that the vagagay,on the other hand, can only get you so far (but then again I've never actually tried wielding its purported power for evil/selfish means)!
I always thought men looked for the ring finger before they even looked for nip slippage!?

Jimbo said...

If I am out looking for nip slip, I don't give a rip if they have a ring on ther finger.

Can you tell me what sills I have? I am not sure whose door these females are sniffing around, but it is not this computer geeks office.

Are you saying that you only use your vagaygay for good and not the evil/selfish powers it can bring you?