Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Activia Sample

Did you know that specialists at Dannon® selected Bifidus Regularis™ for Activia® because it survives passage through the digestive tract, arriving in the colon as a living culture. Once there, it plays a beneficial role in your intestinal ecosystem? I learned that recently when I shopped and sampled at the local Sam's club.
I also experienced an intense ogling by a young, pup of a Mexican guy (not more than 25-years-old). My shorts must've been extra tight and my hair extra big today or I had a sign that said "kick me" on my back or toilet paper stuck to my shoe (I'm not sure which)! He didn't stop staring until I was clearly out o' range which is somewhat flattering and yet creepy considering I'm positive that I'm at least 10 years his senior. The standard white guy's strategy for sneaking a "peek" in public is much more subtle. They surreptitiously give a covert glance in your direction and then pretend to adjust their glasses,book,wallet,random merchandise,fill-in-the-blank object. The black guys are the most overt of all, they look right at the hot spot first, then travel down or up from there and you're pretty sure they have violated you in at least a hundred different ways in the time span it takes you to walk across the room.
I must look like a pretty non-threatening,safe suburb rat because all the old folks approach me for advice/directions. I had a sweet old lady inquire as to whether I lived "around here" and then asked for directions to Office Max. Maybe she thought that I was a powerful business mogul who would know where important printing/copying can be done, and well, she would be correct! I hope I wowed her with my extensive knowledge of local business and directions. I threw in a couple "Wests" and "Norths" here and there to make myself seem even more esteemed. I noticed the old lady's "old man" a few seconds into the conversation and figured they sent the wife in for directions for fear he might seem too geezerly (if it wasn't a word, it is now--you'll use it tomorrow, you'll see). I think I glimpsed the manager of the Sam's club running towards me with a job application for store greeter and all-around-safe-white-girl job, but alas I must have just slipped out of her very short-haired and manly attired grasp!


Jimbo said...

So when I see you walking down the isle at Sam's I will check you out until I get caught looking? I am much better than that.

Eagle Eye said...

Obviously, you're a white guy aye?

Jimbo said...

Just like you are a white girl!