Thursday, July 19, 2007

The Crunch of an Exoskeleton!

Look at that nasty mother fucker! It must be that time of year or before he met his demise, that damn scorpion spread the word that there is a party at my place with free tequila! Now why does a little Jimmny Cricket creep me out more than the bad ass scorpion? I don't know. Maybe because it fell from the ceiling on to my keyboard while I was typing?!(#)Q%*)($# Invertebrate buggers are everywhere right now! I feel a great sense of perverse joy when I hear the crunch of an exoskeleton under my shoe! Again, as a tree hugger I appreciate their respective niches, but get the hell out of my living/working quarters! Creepy bastards! Where is a good vertebrate predator like my friend the fence lizard when you need him--out on break getting a donut? I could have a house full of various reptiles and maybe even tolerate a mouse or two for awhile (I "live" catch and release those guys). But show me a crunchy, juicy bug and he's dead! Maybe sometime in my distant past a bug stole my lunch money? I don't know what it is....
Right now I feel like a vigilante on a rampage against hoards of evil villains like my sexy buddy Mel in Mad Max:
"I'm scared. It's that rat circus out there, I'm beginning to enjoy it. Look, any longer out on that road and I'm one of them, a terminal psychotic, except that I've got this bronze badge that says that I'm one of the good guys. "


NotANiceGirl said...

This morning I took on two flies in the bathroom with a can of fabreeze air refresher and my bare hands. I was triumphant! I prefer my house guests to have scales, skin, or fur.

Eagle Eye said...

Good for you! Chemical warfare is always the most efficient!