Look at that nasty mother fucker! It must be that time of year or before he met his demise, that damn scorpion spread the word that there is a party at my place with free tequila! Now why does a little Jimmny Cricket creep me out more than the bad ass scorpion? I don't know. Maybe because it fell from the ceiling on to my keyboard while I was typing?!(#)Q%*)($# Invertebrate buggers are everywhere right now! I feel a great sense of perverse joy when I hear the crunch of an exoskeleton under my shoe! Again, as a tree hugger I appreciate their respective niches, but get the hell out of my living/working quarters! Creepy bastards! Where is a good vertebrate predator like my friend the fence lizard when you need him--out on break getting a donut? I could have a house full of various reptiles and maybe even tolerate a mouse or two for awhile (I "live" catch and release those guys). But show me a crunchy, juicy bug and he's dead! Maybe sometime in my distant past a bug stole my lunch money? I don't know what it is....Right now I feel like a vigilante on a rampage against hoards of evil villains like my sexy buddy Mel in Mad Max:
"I'm scared. It's that rat circus out there, I'm beginning to enjoy it. Look, any longer out on that road and I'm one of them, a terminal psychotic, except that I've got this bronze badge that says that I'm one of the good guys. "
2 comments:
This morning I took on two flies in the bathroom with a can of fabreeze air refresher and my bare hands. I was triumphant! I prefer my house guests to have scales, skin, or fur.
Good for you! Chemical warfare is always the most efficient!
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