Friday, February 29, 2008

The Black Stallion


Did I mention I like horses? Growing up, I rode my quarter horse bareback frequently and amassed a giant collection of Breyer horses. My mother still sends me Special edition Christmas Breyers every year (lucky me). Being artistic, I also doodled pictures of horses constantly and I even recently sketched a pony for my daughter (maybe I'll share if I can get it scanned and saved).
One of my favorite movies is The Black Stallion. Who wouldn't want to be stranded on a beautiful desert island with a magnificant stallion (and a horse too)? You could dine on sea food every evening,get a tan, workout by riding or trapsing through the sand,swim and frolick for hours. The only things I would add are the occasional Cabana boy sans garments and maybe a pina colada or two.
You like Pina Coladas
Getting caught in the rain
And the feel of the ocean
And the taste of champagne
If you'd like making love at midnight
In the dunes of the Cape
Come with me and escape

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Different strokes



It has been awhile since I spouted about a feminist topic or anti-religion, so here it goes:

I think I met a woman from Pakistan yesterday. I'm not sure because her male companion spoke for her and she wouldn't look me in the eye. I complain ad nauseam about sexism in the U.S., but at least women aren't reduced to infant or chattel status here. I can look a man in the eye (sort of--I have to look up at times) and I can move about unchaparoned in easy fitting clothing. In some cultures and religions, it is as if they want women to be invisible: Do not speak,do not bare your skin, and do not do things unchaparoned because you are cursed with a vagina.


My dog, Muffin Top, ran up to her and licked her foot and she screamed in fright and horror!? I thought to myself, she obviously has never been licked by a man anywhere if she responds to a four-footed friend with such shreaks! This thought prompted me to do a brief google search on Muslims and sex. Surprise, surprise. In Egypt, they are debating whether or not to remove clothes for intercourse, denouncing oral sex as filthy, and asking for definitions of oral sex because pleasuring women is not high on their to-do list: http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2006/jan/17/worlddispatch.egypt.


The plight of the Muslim female is woeful indeed!



"The Trial"

"The East receives my songs, some praise, some curse To each of them my gratitude I bear For I've avenged the blood of each slain woman and haven offered her who is in fear.
Woman's rebellious heart I have supported ready to pay the prize - content to die if love should slay me, for I am love's champion and if I ceased, then I would not be I."
Nizar Qabbani

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

I'm F**cking Anakin by Cowgirl



If Sarah Silverman is f**cking Mat Damon and Jimmy Kimmel is f**cking Ben Affleck, then


I'm f**cking Hayden Christensen!


I'm sorry but its true!

Way up high

With his Eiffel Tower (*nudge wink*)

With cash

Like the Romans do

While surfing in Fiji

In a British pub

While listening to the Fray

Someplace warm

In a Mercedes convertable SL550

That's right, we're f*$king from one spot to the next!

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Lady or a Tramp?

Or Kitten or Cougar? These questions and more raced through my mind the other day at lunch. A charming, dashing, and 20-something waiter/bartender was very "friendly" and made sure that he met all my needs at the OG (Olive Garden). There was some obvious flirting going on--so much so that it prompted my lunch companion to joke that I should leave my business card as a calling card. Then the conversation turned to cougars and young men. I can't decide if "cougar" is a positive or negative term or if I even fit the category. I'm only in my 30's and I spend exactly 5 minutes total on my curly locks and makeup, I don't have fake tits, and I can't stand to be in heels for more than a few hours. My vision of a cougar has always been the overdone, 50ish, desperate housewife looking for some attention. But, when I broach the topic with my female friends--they seem to embrace the "sugar momma" connotation. Cougar, I've been informed, is a very hot older woman who is independent and doesn't need men for security--only for obvious uses! Look at Demi Moore, they tell me. She is very beautiful and successful--she is a cougar!
So the question still remains to me---What defines a cougar? At what age are you labeled and what criteria are needed? Are cougars hot or not? Check out the survey on the side.

Saturday, February 9, 2008

Metamorphosis (again)


I enjoy blogging as a creative outlet and will continue to do so!
PS--I suppose I'm flattered that I was chosen as a target. I guess I must pose some sort of a threat for a group to single me out for a high school "jolly" fest!

Thanks for the good times,

Cowgirl

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Drugstore Cowgirl


Today seems like a good day to burn a bridge or two


The one with old wood creaking that would burn away right on cue


I try to be not like that but some people really suck


Some people need to get the axing chalk it up to bad luck


I know a drugstore cowgirl so afraid of getting bored She's always running from something so many things ignored I might do that stuff if it didn't make me feel like shit I'm on some old reality tip so many trips in it


Beautiful disaster Flyin' down the street again I tried to keep up You wore me out and left me ate up Now I wish you all the luck


You're a butterfly in the wind without a care A pretty train crash to me and I can't care I do I don't whatever


I know a drugstore cowgirl so afraid of getting bored She's always running from something so many things ignored I try to be not like this but I thought it'd make a good song There's nothing to see shows over people just move along


Friday, February 1, 2008

Break Pigskin with Me



If there is one thing women can do (other than their sexual attributes) its cook some mean half-time meals for the big game (then maybe do some sewing and keep an emaculate house). You know, women are competitive that way!

I have the perfect pigs in a blanket recipe:
Ingredients: Little Smokies and Pillsbury croissants dough
Directions:
Cut the raw dough into little triangles with scissors
Wrap each smokie in a "croissant" triangle and bake according to Pillsbury directions!


Mmmmm.....Good.

Now that you have more free time---you too can sneak a peek at Tom Brady's "swollen"...er....."ankle"!