Woo hoo witchy woman she got the moon in her eye"
October is the bewitching month it seems! For a gender that has to squat to pee, women really know how to engage in pissing contests! The way some women mark their territory and everything around them, you would think they wielded the angry penis of Thor! We had the unpleasant task of dealing with a wicked witch of epic proportions at a soccer game this weekend. We had just settled down for a pleasant afternoon at the "game" when SHE descended upon us like so many demons on a mission. She appointed herself coach and soccer official (in reality she was neither--just a parent from our OWN team) and swiftly declared that we re-locate our lawn chairs to the other side of the field. Keep in mind that this was the 4th or 5th game of the season,we had barely even met this woman before, and our coach was merrily instructing kids. You can imagine our bewilderment and predicament.
We asked the coach---"Coach, do you want us to move?". Coach replied "No, you're fine. We should wait and see if the ref has anything to say."
She noticed that our position was unwavering and a stinty gleam appeared in her eye as if to say "Are you challenging me? I AM the coach/soccer official of the universe and all I survey (I think I'm more than a parent)!" She stormed over with indignance distorting her countenance and demanded that we move. I calmly replied that Coach had indicated that we should wait and promptly began to ignore the pestering insect. She backed down momentarily to gather her strategy and cohorts.
We noticed a real soccer official walking alongside the field. She also noticed the official and immediately raced over to him in a flurry of self-righteous rage (cue Wizard of Oz witch sound track). She began to throw her minuscule tits around like they were the balls of an angry bull elephant and appeared to be pointing at us muttering something like "I'll get you my pet and your little dog, too!" We were dumbfounded and watched-- jaws agape. We couldn't believe that in the span of less than 10 or 15 minutes, adults had been reduced to kindergartners!?
Well, the official came over with a stern step and inquired if our coach had asked us to move? "No," I flatly replied. He then retorted--"Well, according to the rules........(I zoned out here) "all parents must sit on the same side--please move"!
I could smell the unpleasant musk of a smug elephant as we walked across the field. After, we were in our new subordinate position, the she-devil pranced over and informed us that she just wanted to make sure we understood the soccer rules and she didn't want "her parents" upset at her! her parents? I laughed at her and thought to myself---So, not only had we been reduced to children, we were her children now? I've met women who thrive on pissing contests and control before, but I've never been reduced to a possession? I think I may have goaded her with my indifference and smile. Those-who-would-rule hate it when you calmly smile and laugh rather than go to blows don't they?
In hindsight, I can't decide which type of woman I would rather deal with--the bull elephant who trumpets and crashes through the underbrush with force or the sneaky serpent always sublimy plotting her dominance? Since there are less of the former and she is always announcing her position, I suppose I actually prefer her outwardly/brutally honest approach.
FYI--Why me? I seem to be a target for wanna be alpha bitches (no one else--and there were plenty of parents sitting with us--was targeted by her showy assertions)!? Maybe I exude some sort of pretense of control unconsciously? I have a tendency to put my hands on my hips on occasion I suppose.....