Animal Farm of Sorts

What a playground I found! Pranksters "hanging out" in the underworld.



I had a rep when I attempted to participate in the beauracratic and heavily entrenched with religion government system. People would smile in amusement and relief when they met me in person and found that I was petite, short and not brutish in appearance at all. I had a parent laugh lightly one time--"I thought you were a big monster of a woman, yet you are a soft-spoken, young-looking teacher (I really didn't embellish the "young-looking" part--I got accused of being a student frequently)!"



While I obviously have a wee bit o' a temper,being of a reasonable mind, I can usually see through my flashes of "PMS" (partly made up syndrome to explain away women's tendency to have independent thought and anger). I can appreciate the need for a creative outlet and freedom of expression. I would never wish someone to destroy their creativity--it would be like destroying a part of themselves.



Yours,











Cocquetish Cowgirl

Hacker-haters

Censorship is for Pussies

and panty-waists (in keeping with the sexist sport theme)! I've found myself in trouble on Mondays lately. Take last Monday for instance, I got pulled over for passing on a solid yellow line. As the dashing,young,and freshly showered Sheriff with the smart tie and button-up shirt shone his "light" in my face, I thought "I've been very bad officer". He was in a hurry that morning too, so I got off (from the ticket violation at least).
Well, then I broke the rules by combining militant feminazi ranting with a masturbatory (I think I made that up---cool huh?) image of a topless cheerleader on my post. This juxtaposition of the nude female form and abrasive verbiage is apparently very disturbing to men. Men like their women and their reading the same way--submissive and mellow. My bad!
My creative outlet has ruffled some feathers and I have been blocked and intimidated from participating in public forums (again). I can hear their battle cry "Light the animal carcasses on fire and load the Trebuchet---attack the firewall!"
Hacker-types crack my shit up. They preach about freedom of information and freedom from the bounds of censorship, yet they are the first to use their deity-like complex to stifle others who disagree. A hacker-type recently told me that what the hackers recently did to "Scientology" is CRIMINAL, but it is okay to mess with civilians? Hmmph! I also like how they hide behind avatar aliases like the "Joker". It is like a double disguise, not only is it not you, it is a thickly painted image so there is complete separation or so you think.

Every Game Needs a Man?

According to Gatorade's latest commercial "Every Game Needs a Hero" just in time for the Superbowl, the only female sport worth advertising is women's tennis. There are four sports represented: football,baseball, basketball, and tennis. Conspicuously missing: The WNBA, OLYMPIC WINNING women's softball, and women's soccer among others!? I could tell that if there was even one woman on their creative team, she was obviously dick-whipped. The 100% testosterone-driven, monosyllabic team of Jon, Doug, Ron, Steve, Rob, Bob, and Red felt it was vitally important to show male-dominated sport images at least 13x compared to the homogeneous image of the SAME woman in a tight skirt 4x!! Not only is it the same woman in every shot, but she is the quintessential sex symbol with long, flowing blond hair, cleavage baring tank top and tennis skirt. Where are Serina and Venis Williams--Are they inconveniently too black and powerful to be seen as sex objects and/or good athletes? After my daughter (with a fractured fibula) and I sat there and counted up the discrepancies in gender and race images, I advised her to change her sport. The only way female athletes will make money professionally in the United States is if they are shaking that T & A, posing for MAXIM half-clothed, or working the streets as a prostitute and they obviously won't be working for Gatorade's ad department!
Why doesn't Gatorade be a little more obvious with their point and just show random images of scantily clad cheerleaders bending over front and back view. Now THAT would sell some sports drink!
BTW---My daughter happens to love Gatorade and drinks it frequently, but I may consider switching to the generic electrolyte beverage---I'll save money and my fucking blood pressure! Gatorade doesn't need little sport girl funding for their brand, they apparently get plenty of income from big sweaty guys in tight pants (don't get me wrong--I like a big sweaty guy in tight pants as much as the next gal and sexual imagery has its place--just not on the playing field).
Gatorade should change their slogan to "Every Gatorade Ad Needs a Woman's Input" or the more appropriate: "Every Gatorade Exec can Kiss my Irish Ass!"

'Tis the season

For whinin' and bitchin' for no particular reason!!

I'm tired of incompetence-- from the gift wrapper at Mervyn's to the easily butt-hurt "marketing specialist"!

The other day, I waited 45 minutes for a high school girl to wrap two items and then I PAID her for it?! Albeit, she is a high school student. Maybe cheerleader tryouts were earlier that day or she skipped her cracker for lunch? She was very proud and meticulous in her work, but STILL!

My marketing person became defensive and belligerent when I called her to the mat on her poor service!? It is like I'm dealing with another high school girl with the way this adult "professional" acts. I can’t believe that professionals take it personal when you want tangible results!? She actually made this statement to me---“Your business is not a “big corporation” or Fortune 500 company—it is just a little business, so your planned event can't be considered as extensive.”

She thought she was going to take a little business and impress me with her limited skills? I don’t think she has taken into account that I have done advertising before and worked with vendors and events before. I guess I give the impression that I just stepped off a turnip truck?
I don’t understand how a professional can get their feelings hurt and consider not doing business with someone because they get called on their mediocrity.
REFERRALS---what a lot of these women don’t understand is that when they screw me over---I never mention their name to anyone again and if I do it is in a negative light. I may be a small business, but just one of my clients could equal several for them!

I have one piece of advice for lack luster ladies:

"learn to fuckin' type, 'cause if you're expecting me to help out with the rent you're in for a big fuckin' surprise."

Sincerely yours,

Scrooge!

Servus Servorum Dei

Capitalist Christian Vs. Socialist Atheist?

I was skimming radio stations this weekend and stumbled across a random conservative talk-show. He (I didn't stay long enough to memorize the host's name) was attacking the platform of an atheist speaker. This is what I heard: "This guy (the speaker/author) is a socialist atheist. If you are against capitalism, you are against Christianity and religion!"
This radio talk show host was essentially equating capitalism with religious faith and implying that the two are inseparable?
WTF??
I have atheist/agnostic tendencies AND I'm fervently pro-capitalism! Where does that leave me? I'm destined to wander aimlessly in "limbo" between heaven and hell because I'm not a socialist, but I'm not a christian either? Help me out here? On what planet does his comment make sense?
Then I thought to myself: "Self, isn't organized religion exactly like socialism?". Think about it: In socialism, the means of production are controlled by the people's elected representatives or controlled by the community of people directly. The "State" acts in the best interest of the people.
If we apply the idea of socialism to a church and religion, could the "people's representative" be say, a Pope or Priest?
The "State" that acts in the best interest of the people could very easily be replaced with the concept of the church hierarchy. The heavenly hierarchy prefer to be known collectively as the "Servus Servorum Dei (Servant of the Servants of God)".
Tithing is an economic parallel between socialism and church politics. Most churches/religions have some sort of dues requirement whether it is the literal 10% or not. "In recent years, tithing has been taught in Christian circles as a form of "stewardship" that God requires of Christians.
There has also been much controversy with the introduction of "membership covenants" in many evangelical churches in North America, spearheaded by many mega-churches. These covenants, such as those introduced at the Willow Creek and Saddleback mega-churches, require giving 10% to that church as a condition of membership. Prospective members must sign off on a contract and are interviewed regarding their lifestyle, including tithing.
Germany levies a church tax, on all persons declaring themselves to be Christians, of roughly 8-9% of the income tax, which is effectively (very much depending on the social and financial situation) typically between 0.2% and 1.5% of the total income. The proceeds are shared amongst Catholic, Lutheran, and other Protestant Churches. In 1933 Hitler had the entry "church tax" added to the official tax card, which meant that the tax could now be deducted by the employer like any of the other taxes." (Wikipedia)

Winston Churchill: "A socialist policy is abhorrent to the British ideas of freedom. Socialism is inseparably interwoven with totalitarianism and the object worship of the state. It will prescribe for every one where they are to work, what they are to work at, where they may go and what they may say. Socialism is an attack on the right to breathe freely. No socialist system can be established without a political police. They would have to fall back on some form of Gestapo, no doubt very humanely directed in the first instance."

Hmmm....if we replace a couple of Churchill's references to "Socialism" with "the church" does it seem so out of place?

“As with the Christian religion, the worst advertisement for Socialism is its adherents” George Orwell

In summation---conservative religion seems more in line with the socialist than the capitalist!!

Down n' Dirty

My name is mud, but call me alowishus devadander abercrombie.

While I would have preferred a mustache ride, I ended up accidentally on a mud bog ride. I'm sure a more prudent person would have seen the bumpy,muddy,road with huge puddles as an obstacle and immediately turned around. Not me! One of my many aliases is "Adventure Girl" and I'm not one to turn down an unknown variable. I patted my trusty stick shift and put the ol' girl in gear (not me--I'm not THAT old yet--in keeping with sailor tradition, I'm assuming my car is female). You may recall that my car is a generic four door/compact sedan with safety paneling. My car has never seen 4WD except in the movies,the tread on the tires IS worse for wear, and it is very low to the ground (no raised under carriage for this girl--she is a prude if not prudent--I'm talking about the car again). I began my decent into uncharted, slippery, gooey times and chanted my favorite Disney quote to myself: "Don’t look backwards for very long. Keep moving forward… and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.” OK! About a quarter of mile later, I made it out unscathed and I felt a sense of self-adulation. "That a girl!" I had a mannish glee about me (not mannish hands though--thank goodness)! I surveyed my muddy car with pride--noting how the mud splatters reached the top of the car and coated my tires in mire! I yearn for a hybrid Jeep more than a nice Mercedes I guess. A convertible SL 550 probably would not see the light of day if I was left to my meandering ways! Now, where did I put those truck balls (I'll paint 'em pink and call 'em ovaries)!!?

MUD IS FUN!

Fluorescent Felines

South Korean Kong Il-Keun's team cloned cats after modifying a gene to change their skin colour. To clone the cats, Kong's team used skin cells of the mother cat. They modified its genes to make them fluorescent by using a virus, which was transplanted into the ova. The ova were then implanted into the womb of the donor cat.

Wow! The uses of a flourescent feline are endless.

• You could attach your keys to their collar and never loose track of the keys at night again!


• You could match your pet cats to your skittles.


• You could find all the annoying cat hair on your furniture and clothes just by flashing an ultraviolet light.


• They would be the hit at any "Rave".


• Hmmmm....what about Reindeer? Could there possibly be a "genuine" Rudolf with this technology? Come on Korea! Show us what you got!