Showing posts with label news. Show all posts
Showing posts with label news. Show all posts

Monday, March 3, 2008

Pretentious Players

And their primates. When I first heard this headline: "Pet Lemur Bites 3-year-old boy", I thought "wow! How odd? How would a boy and lemur meet--the zoo?" Then my second thought was the exotic pet trade and I wasn't disappointed: Lemur story.

Leave it up to a professional athlete to use his mega paycheck to do something stupid. Jog my memory--when has something similar happened before? What possesses a parent to think one day "you know what will make an awesome pet for little Johnny?A quite possibly endangered primate with nasty pointy teeth. I'll take this wad of extra cash and flaunt my affluence by going down to the neighborhood Madagascar and purchase an exotic find!" *whistles* then *spits out tobacca*.

WTF? If you have some extra cash that you want to dispose of why don't you put efforts towards SAVING endangered species and EDUCATION?? I'm sure that pretty penny used to purchase poor Zoboomafoo would have done a lot better applied to his habitat and educating the world about the primate plight!

OR
at a minimum, buy me a new car or put MY kid through college.

(OK. Maybe I'm just jealous I don't have my own personal primate playmate. Shucks!)

Monday, August 27, 2007

Venationes & Damnati

Hot off the press (MTV:http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1567865/20070824/dmx.jhtml): "DMX's Arizona Home Raided; A Dozen Pit Bulls Removed From Residence
Police also discovered weapons cache; no charges have been filed against rapper. "

"Deputies with the Maricopa County sheriff's office raided the Cave Creek, Arizona, home of rapper DMX on Friday morning (August 24), and according to a police spokesperson, 12 pit bulls were removed from the residence, all in bad condition. Police would not get into specifics but did say the animals are being tended to by veterinarians. "

What gives? Now, I know that this sport of blood lust has been going on for probably thousands of years before Micheal Vick. If it wasn't pit bulls, it was cocks,bears,people,cats,tigers,lions--oh my http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gladiator! Maybe the current publicity will get people to act more civilized and less barbaric?

You can take the gangsta out o' the ghetto, but you can't take the ghetto out o' the gangsta! They collect more pit bulls and illegal,cop-killer weapons than suburban soccer moms collect designer bags and botox injections! Modern gangsta thugs are the set up for the perfect American Express commercial:
Hennessy in a pimp chalice,iced finger and bling,nasty-ass ho's,chronic,pit bulls,firearms, AND getting the NAACP to back your ass/career, PRICELESS!

If my dog, Earl Grey wasn't so refined and neutered, I would be tempted to start something similar in suburbia. After a quaint Pampered Chef,Mary Kay,Arbonne,Avon(you thought that died with the 80's didn't you?),Creative Memories, Cookie Lee,or fill-in-the-blank pyramid scheme, the hostess could pile all of her earnings in a cash pot for the real games! Let the Sangria flow in your Tuscany influenced glass as you bet on Betty's Standard Poodle "Lacey" vs my bad ass mother fucker Irish Wolfhound! Of course, we would obliterate those BITCHES and I would end up with a brand new pink Escalade. They would be lining up their pampered poodles around the block for a chance to do it doggy-style with Earl the Dominator! I would charge a minimum of $2,000 just for a chance to lock uglies with my stud and then I would sell the little G's for more G's!Are you skar'd? YOU should be!


On a serious note:


Listen up low-class America! What does it feel like to be put in bondage for profit,tortured,starved,and hanged?

I don't advocate killing or torturing animals for any reason, but I also do not advocate keeping POTENTIALLY vicious animals as pets either: This is just ONE online testimony against keeping pit bulls as pets (there are numerous references): http://www.stoppitbullattacks.com/

If you can't get enough of the blood lust, why don't we put Michael Vick or DMX in with one of their killers. Now, that would be an event the Greek gladiators would be proud of!



Friday, July 20, 2007

Missing Morki


And Mindy (I couldn't resist)?

A couple in AZ got their car and dog stolen (http://www.azfamily.com/news/local/stories/KTVKLNews20070720_stolen-dog.931f2d5a.html)

How pretentious do you have to be to:
1)--Have a hyphenated name: Constantino-Ganier. Either you want to keep your maiden name or you want a married name, but make up your mind!
2)--Name your dog a name that rhymes with the breed. Morki the Yorki is Dorki.
3)---Take your Yorki mix shopping with you like you're a Beverly Hills Celeb!
4)--Violate two major environmental rules by simultaneously: wasting energy and polluting while leaving your car running in the parking lot!
5)--State that you just want your "baby" back---You don't want your $30,000 infiniti back? And your dog isn't your "baby"! I love my Earl Grey, but I never confuse him with my CHILD!

If you see Ganier's 2001 Infinity I30 with Arizona license plates 733-LGK just point and laugh!

Seriously--I don't wish any ill will on the pup. You can't pick your owners/parents!

Michael Vick is a Dick!



Breeding and fighting pitbulls is good sport for you? You sick son o' a bitch! We have enough baby-killer pitbulls roaming neighborhoods impregnating and mauling other dogs and overflowing the pounds!

"Among the grisly findings: Losing dogs either died in the pit or were electrocuted, drowned, hanged or shot. The indictment said purses climbed as high as $20,000 for fights http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,290061,00.html."

I'm not a pitbull fan, but who can enjoy watching an animal drown,hang or go through any other torture? That is serial killer shit right there!

SAVE A PITBULL, NEUTER MICHAEL VICK: http://www.zazzle.com/pd/find/cg-103607418219351135/pt-235

Monday, June 25, 2007

Hermaphroditic cartiligeneous fishes

Repeat the title of this article 7 x I dare you!

Speaking of "Down Under" and cloacas, the Virginia Aquarium shark tank discovered a pregnant black tip reef shark. What is the big deal you may ask? There aren't any male black tip reef sharks in the vicinity! I think she just got lonely one night ate a few flounder to many and hopped out to meet a hot guy and get tanked (get it--pun fun)!


I wonder if Eddie Murphy is the baby's daddy?