Robb Report Anecdotes

Some interesting things an addled woman's mind learned from the Robb Report:

1) The Robb Report has at least one female contributor and 6 female editors

2) Mark Twain,Samual Clemens,was an unsuccessful investor back in the day. His most notorious failed investment was a watch company. You don't learn that shit in middle school.

3) The People's Republic of China released a political billiards set in the 1950's. The red cue ball represented "China" and the other balls were the enemies of the state like disease, political dissenters,the U.S. If I were to put together a billiards set,the cue ball would represent me. I would have other balls that represented 1)Scrotum Illustrated (I mean Sports Illustrated), 2)luxury hotel chain ignorance,3)Michael Vick,4)procrastinating architects,5)service businesses that refuse to open before 10am and/or on Sundays,6)silly/fluffy women's mags,7)car salesmen who emphasize the vanity mirror,8)women over 40 who insist on wearing Victoria's Secret "Pink" attire,9)mysterious pubic hairs in public places (shudder),10)loud, "state the obvious" guys at movies,11)women like me who had to look up how many balls are in a billiard set,12)Walmart bashers,13)pretentious peop's,14)majority of insects in my living quarters, and 15)people who don't drive their sports cars like they're hot---blow my panties off baby!

4)The Icon is a jeep on 'roids that is damn sexy and environmentally sound(I presume it comes in a 5 speed--I can control the speed with my hands on the gear): http://www.trentperformance.com/icon.html and Lexus now has a luxury hybrid: http://www.lexus.com/models/GSh/http://www.lexus.com/models/GSh/http://www.lexus.com/models/GSh/. Now all I need is a sporty coupe hybrid.....?

5)China,(1950's and 1960's), commissioned artistic propaganda similar to the U.S.'s Rosie the Riveter era (1940's):

You knew you were going to see some sort of feminist propaganda eventually--She looks like she's flipping us off!

6)Costa Rica is an Audubon Society playground with an abundance of natural diversity and recreation opportunities! An excellent recreational travel company is "Backroads". Check out http://www.backroads.com/

7)Fun gi's are hard to find--no really--shiitake takes careful cultivation.

There's No Women in the VIP Room!

No Women
Verse: Ladies and Gentleman of the leisure class of 2007, I have a piece of advice for you. No matter what a hotel tells you, there's no women in the VIP room. None. Oh there's champagne and hookers in the VIP room, but you dont want champagne or hookers, you want women, and theres no women in the VIP room.

(Chorus) No women in the VIP room, No women in the VIP room, No women in the VIP room, No women in the VIP room, No women in the VIP room, No women in the VIP room, Theres absolutely positively no women in the VIP room.

I came to the above conclusion on my last trip to LA (you know the one where the rental car attendant couldn't even SPELL hybrid). I was staying on the VIP floor of a luxury hotel--the floor with the super secret elevator key. I did not see anyone of the female persuasion on that level except for Julia the housekeeper. I waited in the Starbucks line with men in business attire and of course I had the most complicated request---a chai tea latte with soy and a toasted bagel with lowfat cream cheese (you know a high maintenance, pseudo jew has to get their bagel on). I quietly ate my breakfast while those around me watched the ESPN channel and chatted business. After breakfast, I went to the retail shop and tried to look like I wasn't looking at porn while trying to find the business mags under all the men's eye candy. I suppose I could have stayed in the "female area" with mags like "O" and the ever intellectually stimulating "Cosmo" (how many articles CAN you post on how to give a guy a blow job?)! Anyway, I finally/excitedly found the "Robb Report--car edition". I walked up to the counter and set it down. The cashier looked at me and stated "Oh--he likes his cars doesn't he?" I looked around, then looked at my chest and became profoundly puzzled. Did she think that I was purchasing this for a male companion? She looked at the hot guy next to me and queried--"Would you like a bag for this mag sir?". He politely declined and deferred the question to me with the female prefix "ma'am" (any woman over the age of 20 is forever delegated "ma'am"--the most annoying thing in the world). The final insult to injury occurred when I called down to check out via phone that morning. The man on the other line answered "You are ready to check out MR. EAGLE?" Holy batshit batman! Of course he apologized when I answered in a voice with octaves so high I was either pre-pubescent or a woman.

Hybrids

Interesting anecdote:

I had a wild experience when I went to L.A. recently (go figure). I was amazed at the mileage of my rental toyota (don't ask me what model). I didn't have to fill it up before turning it in because I completed all my traveling on less than a quarter of a tank! I was so impressed that when I pulled into Alamo to return it, I asked the guy at the check-in if the car was a hybrid. To my shock and disbelief, I instantly knew I had spoken too big of a word to a guy again (remember biodegradable)! I explained that a hybrid is a car that runs on both electricity and fuel. In L.A. (the environmentalist capital of the world),at a CAR RENTAL STATION, in the year 2007, the attendant genuinely had never heard of a hybrid?! We both walked away shaking our heads. He thought I was a crazy backwoods lady and I felt such sympathy for his ignorance that I wanted to put all his grandkids through at least the 12th grade!

Hybrids that I would like to buy:

The sleek,cosmo girl part of me would love to own a mercedes SL550, but alas it doesn't come in a hybrid and I would have to bag Beckham or workover the spouses of the "Real Housewives of Orange County" (I could probably stomach "Shane") to get it!


The country bumpkin part of me (approximately 85%) would enjoy a hybrid jeep. It is reasonably priced and I could use Earl Grey and Muffin Top as guy magnets--just no big words. I could call it "Muffy the Cockslayer" and paint it yellow! Did I say Jeep? I meant plane! I could fly all of the Alamo attendant's kids to a real school in Montana with Muffy the Cockslayer 2 seater!

Nice Jackass! What is that hybrid standing next to him?