Monday, November 19, 2007

Space Violation

I'm going postal. Seriously. This guy at the post office today was a fraction of a cm away from stepping on me---he was that close! I was amazed at his lack of respect for personal space, but even more amazed because I had just devoured the lunch of champions: Spicy squid salad and edamame which isn't exactly a Japanese breath mint! I apparently have a knack for engaging men at the USPS.

One time, a few months previous, I met a fine black brother who made eye contact and gave me the distinct impression he was available.



About a week ago, another couple of gents chatted me up at the automated postage dispensing kiosk (I wanted to use my mastercard to enter to win a Pontiac car). I was standing behind them and they turned around and began to engage in idle chit chat.

Then there was the episode today! The guy was talking in decibels about 3x louder than anyone around. He wanted everyone to know his business--literally. He's a business owner like little ol' me! I tried to limit the conversation with simple one-syllable answers and then look away. After a curt answer, I would be gazing at the wall or the floor when he would immediately start another conversation. It was like we were in a speed dating room or something! He wanted to keep the dialogue going as long as he could! I must've looked tuff or he wanted to see me in handcuffs because he said that he would've held my spot if the gun detector went off!Wow!? If I was keenly interested I probably would've replied something like "Why? am I smokin'hot?Do I look like I pack heat?"
He then surmised that it probably wasn't a gun detector, but an anti-theft alert device in case I decided to steal some valuable packaging or bubble wrap?? I heard you can get some high prices for bubble wrap in Indonesia! The Mandatory Little USPS Lady or TMLUL(that is what her name tag said honest)asked people in line if they had something to pick up. I thought to myself--this guy sure is trying to "pick up" on me! It didn't take long to exchange business identities and he must have sensed my affinity for IT guys because his business was computer repair and solutions. What can I say, I can't resist a geek!

7 comments:

p0nk said...

i've heard of women meeting their man at the door wearing nothing but saran wrap... bubble wrap just increases the kink factor a couple notches.

Eagle Eye said...

LOL! That would be hilarious! POP! SNAP! POP! Hehe
Although...it would help eliminate rug abrasion and open up the possiblity of multiple surface orgasms!

p0nk said...

hey now, if you get a notion to try that, i'm gonna be extremely jealous.

Eagle Eye said...

Hmmm...

NotANiceGirl said...

You're a very good looking lady! I'm suprised this doesn't happen lots more! I bet it feels good, even if you aren't interested!

Eagle Eye said...

Thanks coming from you NANG! Ms. tall and gorgeous!Are men intimidated by you?

NotANiceGirl said...

I have no idea if they are. I usually get hit on by the UPS guys, short fat & hairy delivery men, and toothless weirdos.