Wednesday, June 27, 2007

National Biodegradable Day!

Tip for ladies: Don't use big words to pick up guys!

It was a beautiful, sunny, Montana morning. My dog, Earl Grey, and I were enjoying our outdoor stroll. We came to a nice open park and saw the most gorgeous,pure white, Huskey you have ever seen! She looked at us with those piercing,icy, blues and I would have done her doggy style right there (except that I only have platonic relationships with animals, I'm a girl, and I'm not into beastiality).

Oh, there was this guy there with her too. The Huskey's owner and I were standing pretty close. He was casually glancing at my left hand to check for the kiss of death, the wedding ring. We were hitting it off pretty well. We talked about our dogs, the weather, etc. I noticed that his dog was shedding her white fur all over the green park (it was early summer). He said, "Oh, don't worry I'll pick it all up" I laughed and said breathily "It's not a problem, dog fur is biodegradable!" Ha Ha"
Cue: silence except for crickets chirping
He looked at me with a redness to his face and said "What is biodegradable? I've never heard of that!" Then I went on to explain that it is when microorganisms like bacteria,that fun gi, and the elements break down products and decompose them--- returning them to the earth whence they came. So, essentially there isn't a need to "pick it all up and dispose of it". He didn't say another word, grabbed his hot dog, and fled as suddenly as he had arrived!
The moral here: Play "Paris" and don't tip off that you might know a big word he doesn't or you won't get a big reward!
To kick off National Biodegradable Day here are some items that are also biodegradable:
Bears' shit in the woods
vaginal juice
various fruits like kiwi
yo moma's pubic hairs
my love
tacky Chinese emblem hemp hand bags
obnoxious military childs' clothing
"PINK" Victoria's secret pants
I think that eye pencils are mostly biodegradable, I'll have to look that one up.
Can you think of another excellent biodegradable specimen?

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